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 Post subject: killer
PostPosted: 02/07/11 10:48:23 AM 
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Joined: 04/04/03 06:40:07 AM
Posts: 10209
im far from a feeble wordsmith, my verse equals curses
i was babtised in demon churches
my flow melts the core the bars freeze the surface
if you insanse then rush
ill wield energy thatll make your veins erupt
the arsonals granades and slugs,
my armour's impenetrable yours is just chains and rust
ill make your oxygen depleat and drain your lungs
ill make anything in the way fade to dust
i follow sacred laws, battled death in ancient wars
divine being, you just imitate the pure
you can send bullets when im facing yall
ill change their course
and send em flying through your face and all
not common yo, i got comet flows the deep impact'll brake your jaw
and rip you apart
im in the 4th dimention yall are living in cards
if you thinking you hard, ill summon demons thatll rip through your heart


 Post subject: Re: killer
PostPosted: 02/14/11 08:40:18 AM 
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Joined: 07/09/08 09:39:44 AM
Posts: 530
Man. This site barely moves. Guess people don't have time for this sort of thing anymore. That being said, I'm gonna give a true evaluation...for the sake of productivity. Don't get pissed though:
Syllables came together in rhyme, but it was overly simplistic. Reads like you put down the first two words that rhymed and came to mind. I, myself, have to force myself not to go with the first rhyming couplet that comes to mind. Thats where the depth comes from. I like the first three lines but it felt like there was a fourth rhyming line missing to complete the two couplets, feel me? 4th dimension/living in cards comparison....I'm assuming thats an appeal to opposites since if you're on a card you're 2 dimensional. If thats where you were going with that, thats dope. Just sayin: Get deep on 'em. This took you 20 mins tops, am I wrong?

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