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 Post subject: Offer Of A Lifetime
PostPosted: 01/22/10 09:53:20 PM 
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Joined: 01/21/10 01:01:28 AM
Posts: 210
i walk alone with friends behind me
branches rub my cheeks, puncture holes, and skewer my tounge
in the last minute of my life i want to be well fed
and proped upright faceing a mirror
i want to see it happen
i want to see the years and age sink into my center
i want to be exposed
i want to be eaten alive
do cannibals use facebook?
i tell the mirror to bottle my last breath
surround it and reflect it untill it moves
...it will never move
the first lady that needs you to apply her make-up
red lipstick, orange eye shade, pink blush- whatever the hue
...show her her true colors
then bottle her last breath

-Mourningstarr

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 Post subject: Re: Offer Of A Lifetime
PostPosted: 01/25/10 12:36:55 AM 
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Joined: 04/17/01 05:00:00 PM
Posts: 7521
Location: the top shelf
nice, i'm feelin' your style of writing

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 Post subject: Re: Offer Of A Lifetime
PostPosted: 01/25/10 04:54:15 PM 
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Joined: 03/28/04 09:00:05 PM
Posts: 7722
Location: Canada
not bad liked the facebook line

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 Post subject: Re: Offer Of A Lifetime
PostPosted: 03/01/10 09:06:01 PM 
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Joined: 05/04/03 05:34:16 PM
Posts: 812
Location: GA
awesome. liked the feeling of the power of "self-awareness" I got from this.

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NOTE: 99.8% of his words are laced with some form of sarcasm.


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 Post subject: Re: Offer Of A Lifetime
PostPosted: 03/01/10 11:09:36 PM 
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Joined: 08/12/03 06:20:48 PM
Posts: 6661
Location: Heard and Seen Everywhere
i like the raw appeal of this one. unafraid (at least in word form) of the one thing most people are terrified of. diggin it...

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"Fuck the Bushes and the hicks up in the woods equipped wit hoods, return of Jesus and the media, we need to take a look at kids/On the block hollow wit a glock and no cause, coulda followed, but i lead, so i need that weed tomorrow..."- Heretic Skeptic


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 Post subject: Re: Offer Of A Lifetime
PostPosted: 03/04/10 03:49:38 PM 
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Joined: 01/21/10 01:01:28 AM
Posts: 210
thanks to all, this poetry sector has good crit and comments.

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