hiphop-elements.com

I posted this back in 03 when I was going through a major depresion but I thought I would repost it as I think it may be kind of okay....tell me what you think


as I sit
my mind drifts to long lost realities missed
foregone fallacies exist in the midst of my wrestling match with morality
I lived my fantasy for a short period of actuality
when reality set in and shattered me
it required no physicality to batter me and damage me drastically
when I called out for a fall out she unexpectedly answered me
unaware was I that people magically disappear in the blink of an eye
now I sit in the dark and spark some more apathy as minutes and hours pass by

too sad to cry
too dead to die
too cemented to fly
too apprehensive to question why

it's too emotionally expensive to survive
a revival hardly seems likely in my mind
now all I do is recite her lines
over and over in my eyes I see her free flight from our life into her night
her insight was that the fight was not worth the end reward
and another try she could not afford
and I'm bored by what I see when I explore
floored by remembrances of reckless passion and menacing disasters that cut to the core
I guess time heals all deaths and every breath is followed by another breath
and my health is well
and my place in gods house is permanently jelled
I excel at telling myself what myself wants to hear
and hiding this inner hell from my peers for years and years

Good. This is easy for me to put my pain on and easy to relate to.....
"I excel at telling myself what myself wants to hear
and hiding this inner hell from my peers for years and years"
mmm....their's truth in that!

that's a tough spot to be in, but the piece was well written...i appreciated the flow and wordplay