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 Post subject: observers guide
PostPosted: 09/01/08 04:42:08 PM 
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Joined: 11/21/07 10:57:36 PM
Posts: 1289
stuck beyond greyblots and missiled oughts..
that miss you when the time is caught.
i cauterize my bleeding heart,,catergorizing every part..
every inch..every subfelt feeling from nerves pinched..
drenched..w wretchednes..woefully,,with a darkcloud under a darkcloud..
that follows me..
following it,,
folding my hands in clasps
with my fingers split..
chapped lips..with pink tips..
kissing this lost tangents contents..
that span more than the light of my lanterns consious..
being cautious is full nonsense..its a dire consequence..
of lost passions,,that haunt due to non actions..
cause the gears came to a halt crashing..

(better not to b left asking)

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 Post subject: Re: observers guide
PostPosted: 09/01/08 05:45:44 PM 
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Joined: 08/28/08 09:13:31 AM
Posts: 289
Location: Fayettevegas, TN
Daymn...I am a sucker for poems of this caliber...i used to write oh so many but i'm trying to deviate from that...beautiful piece though,
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i cauterize my bleeding heart,,catergorizing every part..
every inch..every subfelt feeling from nerves pinched..
drenched..w wretchednes..woefully,,with a darkcloud under a darkcloud..
that follows me..
following it,,

I love this and have been there before.....feeling every line keep it up

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 Post subject: Re: observers guide
PostPosted: 09/01/08 07:08:14 PM 
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Joined: 08/25/08 10:44:07 AM
Posts: 540
Location: Lost
Serious,
the dark cloud, under a dark cloud bit was heavy. That's what I was about to point out as well.
The whole thing was great though.


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