hiphop-elements.com

16-24 bars
no real other rules...

i'll drop as soon as u check in
good luck

Look for word play yall not just a straight read, I know yall smart enough to get it if you aware of it.

Throwback Kid just anotha for-um/
Filled wit nigga's all of um postin' up/ ((Get it?))
The dude's sweet like frosty I'ma toast um up/
Watch out fa puddle's the kid's all washed up/
They call um throw-back kid cuz he take ah ass,
whoop and always come back/
That's why all the old head's on his block nicknamed,
him wise-crack!/
The kid's been around more heads than ah sweatband/1
He the type of dude nigga's can't stand cuz his neck,
stretch further than an elastic band!/ Hahah... Get it?
This faggot bounces higher than any rubber can!/
That's why in the hood he ain't throwback kid,
he's dah rubberman!/ Lol
Since ya got to the finals I guess you think you vicious/1
But to be real nigga yo verses more watered down,
den see-food dishes/ Wow! ((Look for ah second meanin))
Man my flow is the richest and I ain't the son of brooklyn/1
but I will roast yo ass and serve you to ya moms,
"Mmmm whass cookin?"/
R.i.p ya runway and broadcast ya wake, D.A.'s,
Know Ab took um/
Here's ya goin away present bitch have ya fam,
go around the hood and let um kno Ab shook um!/

Hope you like it nigga.

u wanna knuck it out? fuck it bitch nigga lets get this on
this battle gon remind you of ya birth...u was shitted out, now u gon get shitted on!



i've neva seen you win a battle, the end results cant be pleasant
n now your testin the king, but cant even handle tha peasants?
u stepped n2 a chess match wit only rules of battle ship? well aimless shots wont help u battle kid
fuck it, i'll give u some battle tips...just for you....DONT BATTLE BITCH!!!
he think he can take me? tha fuck is he smokin
i know he jokin, all his punches hit as hard as a starved etheopian
man, ab's tha wackest, listen u cant rap bitch
all u are, is an active black drastic tactics!
this battle AINT evenly matched, we are NOT the same!
you really fuckin suck, u'r easier 2 beat than a myspace pop up game...
bitch ya lame, probably let flames chastize you
i bet ya mom tried drownin your ass when they baptized you
really hope ya audios sound good, cuz your NOT a good writer
word play my dick, i seen more creative shit changin my nieces diaper!
dog, your outmatched, your chalk dust, im the fog
i suggest u dont post your voting links so they lock tha post...so u at least wont SEE your loss!
i lost my respect 4 you, tha moment them rn2 dudes spit on you
so ima call you kitty litter, CUZ U LET PUSSIES SHIT ON YOU!
your as effective as a house made of cigarette butts
i guess u rap what you does...cuz this nigga sucks!!! lol :toofunny

Hahah..this is great.

Ab, I don't know what it is about you man. Each verse you drop is getting better than the one prior and you keep climbing, but it's like you bring out the monster in everyone you battle. Throwback is about to leave, so he mighta had some extra umph cause of that, but he came blazing.

Ab, you had some pretty decent lines, but two things...You're trying a little too hard to fit punchlines in, and alot of them are forced or had a thought that could've been worked better or worded smoother. Also, the "get it"/"look for second meaning" take away from the line alot. Because if you have to drastically point it out like that, then it should've been worded better or should've had a more solid thought path. Almost like when someone doesn't get a joke, then you overly explain it to them, then it's not even funny anymore. Then again, that's just my opinion. You definitely put forth alot of effort, but some of the lines were just a stretch or a little off. I did like the "elastic band" shit though.

Throwback, you were on fire. That shit was rugged. Hands down, one of the best drops I've seen from you. It was smoothe the whole way too.

Rd//Throwback

I dunno what it is but everytime I try to do some word play or use metaphors, etc I guess I overdo it or make it too complicated or I just think differently than most ppl cuz it seem like nobody gets the shit. I try to keep it simple cuz a complicated verse can turn away heads in the long run but shit if I don't atleast draw attention it gets over looked. I mean its like double trouble. I atleast want someone to check it out even if it means killin the joke cuz either way its overlooked. Thanks for the crits though I'ma try and change up how I do things I been workin on my structure. Usually when I read my verses they sound pretty good though.

Throw hit this nigga hard.

Vote :Throw

damn throwback you had some dope lines there...absolution your structure was verrry bad, I think you would've been better leaving the coma's out and leaving it in the same line...just my opinion...

vote throwback...with ease....

lol, thanx...

3-0

no k.o's

we'll go 2 5

nah, the thing with metaphors/punches is...they start in your head, so obviously you know what you're talking about...but the audience can't read your mind, so you have to paint that picture perfectly so your thought is clear...With a punchline, you need to make it as precise as possible, and less is more, so you don't wanna spend 4 lines getting out a punchline. The thing that happens most of the time with battle emcees when they're starting out...is they try to drop comparisons for no reason just because people are attracted to them. In turn, you wind having a simile that didn't even diss or if it did, it was such a light hit that it shouldn't have been said in the first place and takes away from the verse. Try not to force them so much, cause that's what you're doing now. It sounds like you're searching for random comparisons. The second part of that is that the ones you find that are decent/hardhitting, don't get developed as they should, so wind up coming off as mediocre.

Secondly, when writing a verse that someone isn't going to actually hear, such in this situation. The way you map it out really matters or it reads choppy. Cause your verses may flow amazing or be on beat, but each comma/line break tells the reader to have a slight pause...Another thing I can't say 100% without actually hearing your flow, but I couldn't find a rhythm that would make those bars be fully in time. I suspect that you're writing a few of your bars too short or long, which also makes it choppy. That could be a core problem, but of course amplified by the structure you're writing your verses in.

Thnx I love the great feed you're givin man. =)

Great jobs. Both are mad spittaz and creating the punchline. I am going to go with the throw. Don't stop, absolution. Keep it up. I like to see more of your write.


Vote: Throw

4-0

keep em comin...
nice battle

yeah TBK took this one, Ab was nice with it, but Throw just hit harder with more humorous & clever punches.

good battle, keep ya head up cuh...

best verse ive read by throwback. you spit fire this verse, plus you made me laugh. and thats tough to do.

sorry, absolution, your verse fell a little short. i could see where you were going with your verses so i didn't need you ask 'ya get it?' every tme you dropped a line/joke. no worries though, man. its just one battle. keep banging baby,

v/TB

thanx erry1