Former Jackass star Steve-O has a mixed reaction when reflecting on his career as a prankster.

"I'm proud of what I've done in the past to distract people from the fact that the world can be a bad place," he told TMZ.com.

On the other hand, he added, "I think I could have reached for better sorts of things to be looked up for than to be an alcoholic drug addict that hurts himself for a living."

On March 13, Steve-O was involuntarily hospitalized in the psych ward of L.A.'s Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, around the time he was charged with felony possession of cocaine. The 33-year-old checked into rehab on March 16.

"I was a mess," he told TMZ outside of a L.A. court appearance today where he plead not guilty for the drug charge. "I didn't have my act together."

Steve-O claims he doesn't remember the night of his arrest. "I'm not even trying to spin it," he said. "I really genuinely don't remember. I was in such bad shape."

After a stint in rehab – during which he revealed he was fed alcohol as an infant and blogged about his use of marijuana, LSD, amphetamines and nitrous oxide – the former MTV star insists he's on the mend.

"What I know from being clean for 44 days is if I go back to using alcohol and drugs, I'm going to go right back to being that bad," he said. "There is nowhere in between."

Steve-O is required to attend a preliminary hearing on May 13.