n this week's Pulse Report, the streets are buzzing about Lil' Wayne being marked for death, Method Man inquiring about Lil' Kim's magic box, Fat Joe clashing with Cuban Link...again, and Prodigy's golden rule to dating.
[Editor's Note: The views of this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH.com]
1. Lil' Wayne Marked For Death. For all you Lil' Wayne fans out there you better enjoy his music, while you can. Blender magazine is predicting that the New Orleans rapper will die in 2026 at the age of 44.
The mag occasionally drops a celebrity's name into their Death Calculator and the results weren't favorable for Weezy this go round. Here's what the gerontologist Dr. David J. Demko had to say about it.
"Guns, drugs and a hot temper don't mix. In order for Lil' Wayne to increase his longevity he needs to seriously concentrate on staying out of jail."
Hmmm? Eighteen years left to live. From my calculations Weezy has enough time to...
Smoke 3000 pounds of weed
Drop 18,000 mixtapes
Drink 9,000 gallons of Lean
Beef with 122 rappers
Be on the cover of 815 magazines
How many years do y'all think Weezy has left?
2. Method Man Ponders Lil' Kim's Goodies. If you missed Method Man and Lil' Kim on DJ Whoo Kid's Shade 45 radio show on Sirius you missed one of the finer moments of candid on-air comedy. During the tail end of Kim's interview, in which she addresses Remy Ma as "Remy Man," Meth walked in and turned the room into a straight laugh factory.[Listen Here]
The Wu-Tang MC put R. Kelly's stinky armpits on blast, poked fun of Diddy and took shots at metro-sexual rappers. Nothing was off limits to Meth, not even the quality of Lil' Kim's notorious coochie. "Is the p*ssy good?"
Hmmm? Valid question. She has gotten a few cats to trick off some real high-end luxury items. Heck, she's even gotten a career from it. I'll toss that one to the peanut gallery. What's the verdict on Kimmy's magic box?
3. Round Two. Fat Joe's former friend-turned-mortal enemy Cuban Link (wikipedia alert) sent more than a few darts his way courtesy of the diss record "You're Not Hood." [Listen Here]
If Joey Crack's beef with 50 Cent made him richer, what's a rehashed tussle with Cuban Link going to mint him?
Furthermore, the former Terror Squad member didn't just go in on Joe, he sends a few pleasantries in the direction of Rick Ross and DJ Khaled. And it didn't take long for Ricky Ross to respond. [Watch Here]
While we await Fat Joe's response let's focus on a more pertinent matter surrounding the Bronx MC. Joey's got an album coming out on March 11 and during an interview with Billboard the n*gga issue came up.
"Other standout tracks include..."Fugitive," on which Joe rhymes, "N*gga, @#*$%, @#* / some chicks is @#*$%es, some chicks is @#*$ ... Now who gonna tell me I can't say n*gga?"
Well Joe, I won't be the one to say you can't. Last I checked the "Who Can Say N*gga Rulebook," section 456, line 205 clearly states that Puerto Ricans and Dominicans or any mix of the two, born or raised in New York City still obtain full clearance on the usage.
As for your boy Khaled, who has already told SOHH his reason for using it, the answer is NO! Sorry pal.
4. Dating Advice From Prodigy. I've got to admit, I'm kind of happy Prodigy hasn't been sent packing on his up north trip just yet. The Queensbridge rapper is really using the 30-day extension to bond with his fans. He's even taken them on a tour of his home. [Watch Here]
Thanks to his new H.N.I.C. 2 website he's got poppin' off with Kyte TV, dude is making his last days of freedom worthwhile.
One recent entry finds P swapping grimy groupie tales with his man Twin of Infamous Mobb and some sleazy George Costanza look-a-like. [Watch Here]
Apparently P has a thing for leaving chicks at the diner and sticking them with the bill if they're not down to give up the goods. Don't get him wrong he's all for kicking it at the crib, but he's got one rule, "You can chill but we gotta f*ck too."
This is not applicable dating advice for the sane, but if you ever find yourself in that situation at least you'd know the answer to, WWPD.
5. Intelligent Thug. Lupe Fiasco has the Internet a buzz once again. This time he's got everyone talking about his uber thug comments to Entertainment Weekly. Asked if he was ever picked on by gangbangers here's how Lu responded.
"When the gangbangers would try to pull it, I was like, 'Yo, I will f**k you up. And if you wanna call your cousin, call him. I'll call me! I'll call me right now.' We were shooting TEC-9s when we were babies, so the whole gangsta image, that ain't nothing."
Maybe gangster rap made him do it. I'd say give him a pass on this one. At least he's not doing it on wax.
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